Well I don’t quite no what to say, I got back from D of E on Sunday evening.

It was an emotional roller coaster as expected, unfortunately more of a downward one that a positive. It all went quite wrong and was truly the hardest thing I have ever done.

There where also a few moments where my anxiety just took hold completely and I just felt utterly awful, all of these involved being off balance, high up, with gusting wind and generally terrified, unfortunately my anxiety didn’t go back to a manageable level once I reached the ground, so I was not only pushing the physical limits of my body (weird bones and all) but also really on the edge of my psychological limits, and of course I couldn’t actually tell anyone that, or explain and there was nothing they could do to help anyway.

If I’m really honest I very nearly quit many times, I didn’t think I could get through it, I don’t want to sound like a complete idiot here but I only really kept going because I was determined it wasn’t gonna beet me and I didn’t want the rest of the group, particularly my tent partner to fail because of me (unfortunately I think that nearly happened anyway, thank god it didn’t)

So I was going to blog for ouch about the whole experience, right now I don’t feel I can, even though I/we passed it feels like we failed, its all very complex but a lot went wrong.


2 thoughts on “wierdness

  1. Jemma, I think getting through it is something you will be proud of once all the stress settles down. It sounds like you had some real challenges, but I hope you remember them with a sense of satisfaction beacuse you did it. No one would have thought any less of you for coming away from it, but you didn’t. So well done you.


  2. thanks seahorse, i think i was just rather disapointed that it wasnt more positive, there where some very funny moments tho


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