It seems strange to be writing about change as I have just changed the layout of this blog, it seems to be creating a little sub theme, but the change I am referring to here is a life change.
It’s at this point I need to mention Beth and her blog ‘Screw Bronze‘; I have been following Beth’s blog ever since the start of the Ouch project and she is a truly fantastic example of a human being, if you do nothing else today just pop over to her blog and have a read. Her latest post titled ‘Badminton, illness and change’ has really hit me and helped me with a change I am getting to grips with right now.
As I am sure readers will be aware I have a bone condition in addition to being VI its that (not so) little thing that everyone ALWAYS forgets about, but trust me I never forget about it!
My condition has always been one that is likely to flare up and deteriorate over time, I have always known this but today I have come to a bit of a milestone.
After walking down The (EFFING) Eiffel Tower and then yesterday (just as things where improving) managing to slip over in the mud I am having a very serious flare up.
My left hip and knee take it in turns to be very painful and I am really struggling to balance.
I have hit the point I always knew would happen, it is time to obtain a walking stick.
This is for me a bit of a big thing, I am possibly being a bit pathetic but now the time has come I am finding it rather difficult.
People will see me and Gus and then a stick I’m worried about what will go through peoples heads, questions they might ask and the reactions of my friends, acquaintances and complete strangers.
Reading Beth’s blog has made me realise, its just an adjustment to a new normal for me and everyone else, I have no need to feel self conscious or concerned about peoples perceptions and prejudices.
I am ME; a stunningly beautiful, 20 year old, independent. visually impaired woman who sometimes needs to use a stick to get about and more importantly I will not be ashamed of what I am.
OK its a change for me to think about using a stick, but it will only be a change for so long, and then it will become the norm, nothing will be different.