Living Well When You Are Not Well…

This is really worth a read it sums up the experience of having your life shattered (for me it was like lots of mini shards falling off slowly over time) everything you wanted and dreamed of being flushed away down the pan and having to set new goals.

My goals are very day to day I’m going to focus on what I need to achieve today or this week and not think too far into the future.

One thing is very clear for me if I did not know that God has a perfect plan for my life and He had this plan set out for me before I was even born! I put all my trust and hope not in medicine (which tells me there is no hope) but in God who has a plan.

Living Well When You Are Not Well…

Living Well When You Are Not Well…
— Read on lilyingrace.com/2018/11/01/living-well-when-you-are-not-well/

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Day 1 – I’m Not Giving Up for Lent!

So we have seen another Shrove Tuesday (Pancake Day) go flying by for another year. personally the pancakes are always more of an appeal than valentines day as I’ve been single and bitter for a while now.

So today is obviously Ash Wednesday when christians traditionally vow to give something up for lent. Lent lasts 40 days the list of things I have tried and failed to give up in the past includes; Carrier bags, chewing gum and caffeine.

I’m not going to lie and fluff it up but every year I totally fail in my efforts, I forget my bag for life, or turned up to uni half dead with a cold and totally forgot to order decaf – I think he longest my efforts of giving stuff up have ever lasted is about a week which is lets face it pretty pathetic.

So this year I’m trying something different, I’m going to try and write a blog post every day for the next 40 days.

The way I see it Lent is a commitment to change, whatever a person decides to give up its a challenge and something difficult. So I’m turning the tables and taking something up for lent, again I’m making a commitment, it will be challenging and difficult for me to come up with and plan a blog post every day.

Other ideas I’ve seen around the internet are things like donating money to charity every time you buy a newspaper for the next 40 days or walking to the corner shop instead of using the car – its not always about giving something up.

So is there something you want me to blog about, an issue that’s on your heart? A particular scripture that sums up the period of lent for you? or a challenge for me to make an interesting blog about something particularly boring? Get in touch and I’ll try and write about it*

*Disclaimer this does not guarantee I will accept suggestions/challenges!

 

Mind and Soul : 16 things not to say

Please take a look at the site I got this from its a real gold mine for Christian friendly mental health information… Not that nay MH info sights are not Christian friendly…ah… You get what I mean and its LATE!

Mind and Soul : 16 things not to say.

Things not to say


Yes, these have all been said! Yes, actually to people’s faces! In BOLD: What you said. Then: What the person heard!

Just give it to God!
One quick prayer and it’s all over, sorted, done and dusted!

Have you tried praying?
Just a thought, maybe you haven’t thought about it yet, you know even though you’ve been a Christian for 15 years?

Pull yourself together
You need a stiff talking to and someone needs to tell you

We all feel like that sometimes but you have to snap out of it
You know you’re not suffering anything else that no-one else doesn’t feel now and then so why can’t you just snap out of it like everyone else does?

Are you reading your bible?
I know you’ve been a Christian for 15 years and you use to preach, but maybe you’ve forgotten that when you are so ill and you cannot rationalise, you’re seeing things and hearing things, you can’t make sense of your words and anything or anyone around you, you’re visions blurred and your head feels like it’s going to explode, you can just pick up your bible and claim a scripture! It’s great isn’t it, as simple as ABC

I’m not getting into the boat with you – you’re full of self pity
No, I’m not even going to listen to anything you say as that would mean that I’m getting in the boat with you and agreeing with what you are saying and that would mean that I’ll be helping you simmer in your self pity and I don’t want to be classed as a negative person like you

Just fight it!
Just refuse to feel like that in the name of Jesus, refuse it, rebuke it, don’t receive it?

I’d never allow myself to get in that state
Sorry but what’s happened to you, will never happen to me, I’m fit, healthy and loving life, no way will what’s happened to you happen to me!

You’re looking really well
You look like there’s nothing wrong with you, in fact I think you’re making it all up, cause to me, you look like everyone else

It’s your own fault
I was reading Job the other day, what sin is in your life that you haven’t confessed and dealt with yet?

There’s no such thing as depression, you’re just feeling sorry for yourself
What is all this poppycock about depression and illness? you need to get a grip and stop pretending you are ill

You’re a hypochondriac
Honestly, there’s people out there who are really ill, I think you enjoy it

Shouting at someone
I need to disciple you, discipline you and put you right, now STOP IT

Why can’t the doctors do anything?
Why can’t the doctors sort you out? I mean they’ve always sorted me out and everyone I know so why can’t they sort you out? Tell me? It’s very frustrating and I can’t work it out

You should just stop taking all those tablets and just trust in God
Now I have a physical condition so if I stop taking my tablets, I would die, if you stop taking your medication nothing will happen apart from you will be trusting God more and you won’t have any side effects, so simple!

It’s a choice – you can change if you want to
Yeah… of course I choose to hate my self and wish I was dead… Thank you for pointing out it’s just a choice that I need to make

Things to say instead


This is OK to say in BOLD and This is why it’s OK. It’s not as hard as it sounds. Just be kind and empower them

If you want to talk, I’m here to listen
I care about what’s happening to you and need to listen to you as a friend to show you that. Then I can understand and help you. I realise this is going to take longer with someone who is mentally ill.

I’m praying for you, do you want me to pray for you now?
I don’t have any magic answers and I’m not trying to give you one but what I can do is pray for you. I know God answers prayer.

I have some practical wisdom I can share with you.
Because I’ve spent time with you and listened to you, I can see you need rest, space, food, spiritual advice etc and can help you.

I have no idea what it must feel like because I’ve never suffered from mental illness but I can understand it better now
I can’t contemplate what it must feel like to be mentally ill and I can now have sympathy to anyone with mental illness because I understand it now.

Could I help you spiritually in any way, perhaps share some scriptures that you may be able to draw strength from?
I can’t imagine what its like to not be able to draw from my bible because I’ve lost the ability to think clearly and be in control of my mind. If I can help by writing some scriptures out or reading from the bible for you, or get some bible tapes for you, I will.

Shall we go out together somewhere? Can I take you out somewhere?
Special times with friends help and if I can help take you out for a while it may help you escape from the same surroundings and focus on something else for a while. It must be awful when you are to not be able to go out at all because you are ill and you’ve lost your work world and other social outlets.

I can see your not feeling great at the moment, do you want me to go and come back tomorrow or another day?
I can appreciate that if you’re having a really bad day, I should come back another time and I’ll be able to help better

Do you need help getting your medication or a lift to the specialists?
This is a really practical thing that you need and half an hour of my time would be a real answer to prayer to you

Talk to them about something positive in their life, or an improvement that you’ve noticed
Sometimes when you are so in the middle of something and experiencing it every day you can’t see the small improvements that are happening or recognise an achievement or progress

Find out any likes, hobbies, what makes them laugh and work towards helping them achieve one of these
Laughter’s good medicine, we all need purpose in our lives and to feel we’re achieving something.

Help them work through a panic attack, and irrational thoughts.
Help them to breathe by going through simple exercises, pray for them, talk through calmly their thoughts and help them rationalise them.) All the physical effects it can feel like you are dying and is very scary. This can be very draining yourself especially if emotionally attached so take time to recuperate yourself after.

Don’t give up on them; it can take along time and a lot of hard work to help someone recover. They need friends and loved ones to stick by them.
Medication alone won’t do it; it’s all the social help and one to one work and prayer that will see the breakthrough

Alan and Amanda Stephenson, 05/05/2010